depression blindsided by cuteness!!!

*warning: lots of names and top 5 lists.*

Alright, alright. Right now! Top 5 All-Time BEST female singer-songwriters, let 'em rapid-fire LETS GO:

1. Carole King
2. Joni Mitchell
3. Tori Amos
4. PJ Harvey
5. Fiona Apple

..........and, trailing in at a close 6th...no....more like 5 1/4, Regina Spektor. Not to mention Lucinda Williams. And Chan Marshall. And Imogen Heap. And Bjork. And Stevie Nicks. Dammit! Too many to list...

Been feeling pretty scummy the last week and a half. I won't go into much detail, but let's just say that I'm all tapped out. Running on fumes and whatnot. Usually, what I do is listen to some good 'ol wallow in my own misery music. Maybe gaze out the BART window on the way to work with a deep sigh, while "Sullen Girl" plays on the iPod.

How about this-
Top 5 songs to mope to:

1. "Obscured/Window Paine"-Smashing Pumpkins (depends on if I'm just depressed or slightly energetically depressed)
2. "Pretty Penny"- STP
3. "Orion"- Metallica
4. ANYTHING from Tidal by Fiona Apple
5. "Mystify Me"-Son Volt

*siiigh* ANYHOW.....this time around, in the midst of all my moping, I found this:



Actually, this isn't the video that I fell in love with, but embedding is disabled for it, so here's a link. This version is a bit mellower, and waaaaaay cuter. A field full of cute Reginas running around doing cute stuff!

ALTERNATE CUTER VIDEO
This video inspired me to do two things. 1) Buy Regina's latest album "Begin to Hope". Now, I do like to say that I looove Regina Spektor. I have almost all the albums she's put out, save the two she put out after Soviet Kitsch. This album has been out for over a year and a half, and the only single I'd heard off of it until recently was "Fidelity". Apparently, it was named after "High Fidelity". Further proof that she and I should TOTALLY be friends. I'd pick a flower for her to wear in her cute hair every freaking day! But I digress once again. The other thing that video inspired me to do: Feel uplifted! I haven't felt uplifted by a song in a very long time. Truly uplifted. Like when I would listen to one song on repeat in my room when I was 15. In the last few days, I'm pretty sure I've listened to/watched "Better" upwards of 30 times. Getting dressed in the morning for work, I'm freaking Molly Ringwald in "The Breakfast Club". It may sound kind of stupid, but that song has helped me begin recharging. It's helped me put more care into myself, which in turn helps me care for others around me easier.

~If I kiss you where it's sore, will you feel better, will you feel anything at all?
~If you never say your name out loud to anyone, they can never ever call you by it.

These are the kinds of simple, straight-to-the-point lyrics that really get to me. Makes you start coaching yourself. -Can anyone else really help you feel better when you're hurting? Why do we think that we can't help ourselves? -Don't be afraid of putting yourself out there, even if it isn't easy sometimes. Granted, as a huge Tori fan, I also have a deep appreciation for obscurity and ethereal vagueness. Speaking of which, I went on a Tori YouTube rager last night (I have a current obsession with cute live music videos) fueled by my excitement that in almost a month exactly, TORI AMOS WILL BE PERFORMING 6-7 BLOCKS FROM MY HOUSE FOR 3 DAYS IN A ROW!!!!! And you know what? Judging from fan videos from recent performances in the UK, she's a fucking firecracker!!! (I have yet to get her new album...but I have a lot of reservations about it, being SO disappointed with her last album "The Beekeeper".) There is something baffling to me about disgustingly famous musicians. They play the same songs for years and years and years. I'm sure I'd get tired of playing the same songs for 20+ years. Shit, I don't play songs that I wrote 4 years ago. I can barely remember them, even. And when I do, I don't get more than halfway through before I start getting a bad taste in my mouth. Anyway, I was watching a video of Tori doing "Sugar" as Santa, one of her pretentious "alternate personalities" or something. The footage is awful, totally out of focus the whole time, so I won't subject you to it. But her band was TIGHT and her vocals were spot on. After all these years, I do think that "Sugar" live is one of the hardest songs for her to perform. The outro she worked up is amazing...her vocals soar. They really do. Of all the versions I've searched for and listened to, I think that there will NEVER be a better version of that song than the one off of "To Venus and Back" (1998), which, mind you, she recorded AT SOUND CHECK!!!

.....!!!!

Yeah. Fucking sound check, man. I woke up this morning (an hour and a half earlier due to the end of Daylight Savings and the lack of knowing that by my beautiful daughter) feeling better than I have in almost 2 weeks. I have the power to make it through every day the best person I can be. Yeah, I fucked up more times in one week than I would have liked recently, but there's nothing I can do about it now but accept it, accept the consequences that came along with them, and move forward as the best person I can be. And as long as I can remind myself that, whether it be through appreciating the color of the sky at dusk, or listening to some of my musical heroes, or whatever else the musical doctor ordered, then I think for now I do belong here. Right here where I stand. And you should do the same.

Because you belong here too.

inspiration is a wiley thing, indeed

**Warning: This will most likely be a very long post**

Hello, and welcome to my blog. My good friend inspired me to do this. Indirectly. She was talking to me earlier this evening about a musical blog she read, listing his personal "If autumn had a sound" play list. What a cute idea. His selections? NOT so cute. Granted, I have a soft spot in my heart for the Gin Blossoms, but only because they covered a KISS song. And don't even get me started on Hootie and the fucking Blowfish. Talk about BLOWING. Anyhow....I guess the first thing I should admit in this, my very first official blog, is that I'm a judgmental prick. And if this guy somehow happens onto this blog, which I highly doubt, I won't apologize for my pretentious comments, because they're just my big-mouthed opinion, and I have the joy of being able to hide within the darkness of the intarweb. He can just blog about it in response. What a wonderful world of passive-aggressiveness we live in these days. I believe Steven Colbert talked about it on one of his shows recently.......Ah. Here it is.

Steven Colbert's "The Word: SOLITARITY"



Not saying that I'm not one of the masses. I mean...LOOK! But alas, I digress. I tend to do that. A LOT. And, in conclusion to my previous tangent, really, I LIKE KISS. Yes, the band. And if that causes a tsunami-like mass of "what a fucking hypocrite!" blogs, or even just one, then I have made my point, indeed.

NOW. Onto the real topic at hand: Music. Le Musique. First off, just to get an idea about what sort of things I'm into, take a peek at my last.fm page. Looks like I spent a lot of time on that, eh? Not really. Luckily, it reached right into my iTunes and set everything up for me. I love easy nerdy shit like that.

Recently, as the season changes, well.......as much as it can in the bay area, which has some of the most schizophrenic weather I've ever EVER experienced, I've found myself hiding out. Bumming out. Watching the leaves change from my window, wanting to take a walk around Lake Merritt but cuddling underneath my bear pelt of a blanket instead. Depression has set in like a bad cold, and it won't go away. Yargh. For the last couple months, I've been totally obsessing about dreamy electronica. I saw the term "emotronic" just this evening, and I'm trying to figure out how to add that to my snobby musical term repertoire. Groups that I've been listening to lately:

Note: As soon as I learn how to embed MP3s, hopefully I'll be able to put up a song of each band/artist/group I talk about. Until then, there are a plethora of sites (myspace, last.fm, etc.) that one can easily locate these groups on, and make judgments as they see fit.

Lamb: More known for their DNB (that's drum and bass to you, NOOB) roots, I've found myself emo-ing out to their lush soundscapes, Lou's very throaty and at times VERY Tori-esque vocal stylings, and their obvious jazz influences, which I dig.

Telefon Tel Aviv: Perhaps these guys can be put underneath the emotronic umbrella? Anyhow, upon discovering these guys, I found myself happily whisked back to the early 90's, when I was prancing around in my room to bad R&B. Not saying that they are bad, OR that they're really R&B, per say, but that they make me feel young....and even a bit naive. I like that. These guys are hands down some of the best programmers I've ever heard. Not many people can take a bunch of random clicks and beeps, mix them up, and create a MASSIVE laid-back, and once again, lush groove to escape into. They mainly have a male vocalist, very reminiscent of white-guy-trying-to-sing-like-Tevin-Campbell, and also guest some mediocre but etheral female vocalists throughout their tracks, but it works. It truely does.

Portishead: One word: Dummy. Actually, it's an album, not an insult. But if you have any taste for trip-hop (think Massive Attack, but with a Tori-like vocalist), get this album. Seriously. This group also has a decent amount of jazz influence, which, in my opinion, makes them walk the fine line between tasteful and cheesy, but for the most part, they're very easy on the ears.

Yppah: (To be honest, I don't know much about this guy. Another good friend of mine turned me onto him, along with Lamb and Telefon Tel Aviv. This chick is what I like to call MITY, or More Indie Than You. She's the indiest girl I've ever met. ) Labeled "indietronica" (yet ANOTHER snobby musical term), probably because he has not as of yet broken into the mainstream. Maybe he'll stay that way, and just be a well known secret among the indietronica freaks worldwide. I feel like one of the few and proud, for now. What I do know is that this guy is a guitarist-turned-programmer, which is cool in my book. His LP "You Are Beautiful At All Times", is well put together, and totally instrumental, save a few tasty vocal samples sprinkled throughout. His tracks are generally pretty short, which is good if you aren't in the mood to wait, but not so good if you're left wanting more. He's got a good sense of space, and his guitar is tasteful, adds a great sense of dynamic, and fills in the gaps quite nicely.

Whew! That was a lot more work than I thought it would be.

So, in closing (because I'm starting to get bored), and to pull this rambling bullshit full circle, I was inspired to create my own personal fall playlist to be appreciated and scoffed at. Here are the first 5 tracks:

1. Hummingbird - Wilco (A Ghost is Born, 2005)
2. So Many Ways - Mates of State (Bring it Back, 2006)
3. Dramamine - Modest Mouse (This is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing to Think About, 1996)
4. Too Late - The Like (Are You Thinking What I'm Thinking?, 2005)
5. I Just Don't Know What to do With Myself - The White Stripes version (Elephant, 2003)

Once again, I hope to learn how to embed music soon so that you don't have to go searching for these tracks if you're at all interested. Otherwise, feel free to contact me with any questions/comments/smack talking.

Coming up next blog: A few more tracks to add to my fall playlist. Dreamy electronica is on it's way out on my iPod. My most recent musical obsession- experimental progressive instrumental. Wild shit. Hope you enjoyed. :)